


Which One Of Us Is Caving

by wasp



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Office, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-27
Updated: 2013-10-27
Packaged: 2017-12-30 13:18:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1019071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wasp/pseuds/wasp
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam doesn't regret hiring Louis, it's the furthest thing from it. He's clever and quick-witted and he's <em>good</em> with people in a way Liam never was. It's amazing, he's amazing and Liam doesn't understand how he survived so long without him. In the professional sense.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Which One Of Us Is Caving

They don't get along that well from the very start.

Liam doesn't _need_ the two of them to be best friends, that's neither what he wants or needs in a personal assistant. He just needs to have a productive, efficient, mutually beneficial relationship with him. Liam tries his best to keep it professional and Louis tries his best to derail his efforts. It only ends up with Liam being a lot stricter on him than he has to be, trying to balance it out to something he's familiar with - a working relationship.

It doesn't help, not really.

Louis takes it personally, at some point, of Liam's apparent reluctance to fall to his charms and somehow redoubles his efforts. And then Liam started responding.

"I bet he sleeps in those fancy matching pyjama sets. I bet he dry cleans them. I bet he _irons_ them before bed."

Zayn shakes his head with a little laugh, nudging his glasses higher onto the bridge of his nose and and checking himself out in the bathroom mirror. He neither confirms or denies any of it, having worked with Liam for two years already.

"I mean, is he always so," Louis trails off, stiffening up his limbs, his back going ramrod straight in demonstration. "Or am I just special?"

"You're plenty special," Zayn says, smiling in a way that confuses the best of them, trying to decipher whether he's being a dick or not.

Liam's not interested in office gossip, especially if it is centred around _himself_. He can have a pretty good guess at what's being said about him at any given time. His last personal assistant had quit in tears and Liam was under the impression they'd been getting along just fine.

Anyway, if he doesn't hear it, he won't have to do anything about it. He's not eavesdropping on them now, he'd just paused for a moment outside the bathroom and caught the end of their conversation. They're walking out of the men's bathroom and talking about it loud enough for anyone to hear - Liam really doesn't think he's at fault here.

He doesn't know what drives him to do it, he has plently of time to make himself scarce before they're in each other's paths but maybe it's the fact that he's not a teenage boy caught eavesdropping but their _boss_ that does it.

"I sleep naked," he says as he passes the both of them on the way in.

Liam chances a look back at Louis before the door closes. He doesn't look surprised, which was what Liam was expecting, or even at least a little bit sheepish at having being caught talking shit about his boss. He looks delighted instead. His eyes are lit up in that particular way Liam's witnessed in the past couple of weeks when someone brought _him_ tea for a change or there was good cake for everyone.

Then a look of thoughtfulness passes over Louis' face and it's immature and stupid but Liam feels almost smug at the reaction. It feels like he maybe has a chance of righting the playing field.

 

~

It's not even like Liam _wanted_ an assistant. He had no idea he wasn't handling things on his own. He was doing just fine. It's been months since Germon quit on him.

"I told him I don't _need_ an assitant, surely if I've been," Liam is cut off when Zayn stops clicking around on Liam's computer to fix him with an amused glance.

"You hired him though," he says pointedly.

"Yeah, because - I'm trying to stay in Simon's good graces after the Leone fiasco. And the kid really needed the job."

"The _kid_ , he's only a few years younger than you," Zayn says with a snort.

"Fix the thing," Liam says, ignoring him to wave vaguely at his monitor. He's not blushing in front of Zayn, even if he's not just the Computer Guy to him any more, he's the closest thing to a friend.

"And his cheekbones? He's kinda pretty," Zayn says lightly, not making eye contact with Liam so he won't have to face his glare. It doesn't work on him any way.

"His cheekbones are cheekbones," Liam says after a momentary pause, crossing his arms. He stops when he realises how defensive he looks, he pushes them into the pockets of his trousers instead, waiting for Zayn to finish up.

Zayn pulls a face and mouths to himself _his cheekbones are cheekbones_ and says "I told you to stop using Internet Explorer." His fingertips fly over the keyboard for another moment before he's done, Liam always has a feeling he's stalling when he's fixing whatever Liam's messed up. It's a terribly slow day, though, and Liam doesn't mind the company - well he didn't until Zayn started banging on about his assistant like he _knew_ something Liam hadn't caught up to.

"Chrome's already installed and everything, I made it your default browser so, just, stop."

"Alright," Liam says agreeably, shrugging. Force of habit.

He shoos Zayn out of his office afterwards, not wanting to hear anything else about why or why not Liam went ahead and gave in to hiring Louis.

"And you have to admit, he has the best arse in the office," Zayn says at the door, turning around to enthusiastically wriggle his eyebrows at Liam. Luckily, Louis is not at his desk.

Liam shuts the door on his face. He quickly opens it again to check he didn't actually hit his face because Zayn has a ridiculously good one and it stops a revolt from happening in his office for better software on a daily basis.

"You're the Internet Explorer of this office," Liam says solemnly and closes the door on Zayn's huge shit-eating grin.

He is though, he takes back every good thought he's had about the man. Liam accidentally locked himself out of his own twitter account, which only exists for business purposes, and Zayn laughed himself sick at Real_Liam_Payne for ten minutes and then called the Pizza Delivery Guy to tell him about it.

Absolutely terrible.

 

~

"Why does Danny keep hanging around?" Liam asks, even though he knows exactly why. Zayn's not the only one to notice, of course he's not.

Louis shrugs, resolutely facing his monitor and not Liam. Liam stands at his doorway for another moment and Louis finally turns his head, raising a sly eyebrow at Liam as if to say even if Liam doesn't appreciate his company, a lot of people do.

"I'm very funny, you know," he says with another pointed shrug.

And he _is_. No one has ever made Liam laugh as much as Louis does on a daily basis but he's trying his best not to give that to him because it feels like a shift of power - if he gives in little by little he's going to lose his footing completely. It's just all very new, Liam thinks it's important that everything's compartmentalised in neat little boxes from the start. Including Louis.

Louis sends him funny little emails during work hours which Liam tries to remain disapproving of but then he gets sneaky and mixes them in with the important emails so Liam ends up reading through all of them anyway.

_Do you think pigeons have feelings? I watched a compelling video and felt the need to ask._

Usually Liam doesn't have a decent enough answer, this time he replies with a link to an article about pigeons on Wikipedia instead.

Slowly, he thinks, he might be losing whatever he thought he had in the first place. They might be becoming friends. Liam thinks it'll interfere with everything but he doesn't know how he might go about resisting.

 

~

At the beginning, he didn't think it would work. Louis can be quite rude and downright hostile at times and he comes in late too often - it'd have been a lot more helpful if he was actually shit at his job. He's unfairly brilliant. After the initial period it takes for him to settle in and get used to everything, he does very well, getting everything done on time even if he spends an inordinate time talking to people or texting or looking at questionable things on the internet. The first time he manages to sort out Liam's schedule like Liam's never been able to before, Liam's kind of in shock. He was thinking of just letting him work here for a while, long enough for Simon to hear about how he gave him a chance, long enough for Liam to prove that he didn't really need him.

And then it becomes kind of clear that he really needs Louis. Not Louis in particular, someone with the particular set of skills that Louis seems to have. That's what he meant.

~

Liam closes the door on the little kid, staring at her blotchy red face with a pang of sympathy, letting her dad into his office so he can sign the paper's already on his desk, ready to go. It's only going to take a minute, that's why he didn't bother settling her in the day care down stairs but Liam stills feels a little bit guilty, peeking out through the glass panel framing his door. He waves at her, trying to smile encouragingly at the entire glory of her rage for taking her daddy away.

She immediately bursts into tears.

The last thing he sees before Ramsay calls him over to the papers for another explanation is Louis lifting her hurriedly into his arms, shooting Liam a glare through the glass as if he's personally responsible for this (which he _is,_ he's terrible with children - they love unreservedly and of course there's something about Liam that makes them _cry_ ). Louis wipes at her face very gently with the edge of his sleeve instead of the box of tissues sitting on his desk.

Ramsay finishes signing the contract quickly, it's was supposed to be a very quick visit, but he asks him some last minute details that stalls them a bit. When they come back out, he apologises about bringing his daughter along, explaining it was supposed to be his day off and Louis seems reluctant to give her back.

He finally puts her down, pinching her cheek lightly. "Alright my darling, go on," Louis says and she lets go of her dad's hand to wave wildly at Louis, clutching her bunny doll tight to her chest as they disappear around the corner.

"You're really good with children," Liam says, surprised that he's not all that surprised. He leans against his doorway, lingering for no reason he can justify.

"I let her play with the permanent markers and she has a massive stain on the front of her pretty dress," Louis says wincing. "I said her bunny wasn't feeling all that great and to give her a hug so Ramsay won't notice until they got out of here."

It makes Liam laugh, and it doesn't make it any less true. Louis looks up quickly, a look of startle on his face. It softens into a smile slowly and he shakes his head as if Liam's the odd one out here. He sits back down at his desk and starts cleaning up the markers, putting them away.

"Still, that takes _some_ skill," Liam says, shrugging. "Children hate me." He knows he sound really petulant but they _do_. Maybe it's just because he hasn't been around all that many children, he has no reason to, he has no siblings, no nephews or nieces.

Louis sighs patiently, turning around in his seat to look up at him as if he's being a particular idiot today. Liam tries to be offended but there's something about it that makes him feel warm in his chest, like he's in on it too. He can't help it, Louis has a way of making it feel like he's on your team, even when he's ripping you to shreds.

"They don't hate you. You just _think_ they do and you do the whole stand-offish thing and go cold and children are very smart, they pick up on things. I just did a lot of baby sitting. And my mum's a midwife. I bet you'd be a decent dad, one day, to your unfortunate spawn."

Liam opens his mouth and closes his mouth abruptly when he realises he doesn't know what to say to that. He thinks he should be offended, again, but he's touched more than anything else. It's one of his greatest fears, really, that he'd be terrible, he doesn't have much of a template to follow but before he can say _thanks_ Louis jumps up suddenly, exclaiming and rushing off to the bathroom when he realises he has a sizeable permanent marker stain on his own shirt.

~

Liam gives Louis a handkerchief that Christmas. He didn't expect Louis to stay with them for this long. At some point he stopped waiting for Louis to resign, there's got to be a reason he hasn't been able to hold a job for too long before this, or for him to mess up so bad Liam has no choice but to fire him. Liam looks up one day and it's like he's taken over the office in more ways than one. It's not really fair, everyone was already half in-love with him when he started it.

He can't imagine coming into work and not seeing Louis sitting at his desk, trying to fire rubber bands wrapped around his thumb and forefinger at whoever walks in. He's not just funny and charming, getting people's guards down before they walk into Liam's office, but he just makes everything run smoother. Liam doesn't run himself into the ground. Once, he went back home for a week when his sisters managed to catch chicken pox and Liam can't remember how he'd been doing this without him.

The thought of Louis leaving now, just when he's established himself as a functional member of the office, makes Liam's chest feel too tight, like it's going to cave in if he breathes too hard. That's probably just panic at having to find someone else to take his place. Someone who won't mess up the whole dynamic they've managed to create. Panic of the professional kind.

Everybody usually gets gift card or something as equally appropriate. Sometimes he gives Zayn rare comic books from his own collection because he's stopped reading them some time ago now anyway and Zayn has such a childlike enthusiasm that triggers Liam into being enthusiastic about things that aren't work for once. He gets Louis a handkerchief. Louis looks at him like he'd much prefer the gift card.

Liam's not good at this, he hasn't had much practise. Louis leaves for home for the duration of the holidays with an amused, rather confused, look on his face.

He thought it'd be useful, in case he needed to go swooping in and save all the children Liam's managed to goad into tears without having to use his own shirt as a hanky. It's only after Zayn's passing comment that Liam realises it's Louis' _birthday_ as well and he's gotten him a _handkerchief_. He wishes he had some kind of family to share his holidays with so he won't have to think about the fact he'd given Louis the most boring present in the history of mankind. He feels guilty, almost immediately, frustrated at himself more than anyone else. He does have a family, she's plenty of family.

Liam spends an awful long time choosing her present like he always does, unravels the beautiful pale purple scarf scarf against the hospital bed and smiles at a woman who hasn't remembered she has a son in quite a while now.

~

"Do you think I should wear a tie tonight? I don't want to look like I've just got off work though," Louis says, popping his head into Liam's door. He's holding two ties in his hands for inspection.

"What's tonight?" Liam asks, looking back down at the pen in his hand and blanking.

He already knows what's happening. Louis has got a date with someone, the journalist with the swoopy stupid hair Liam is actually quite in awe of. The hair, not anything else. Louis has been excited for it even though he still refuses to call Nick by his first name and still fights with him over the phone about every last detail of what he can publish.

Louis is dressed particularly nice today and it's kind of cute, how excited he is. Liam can tell, he's spent extra time on his hair and everything. Liam can't remember the last time he's gone on a date. However, he can remember how Louis used to dress when he first started working. He remembers how he came in for his interview, just a kid in a wrinkled button down shirt and a dodgy looking tie, a cardigan thrown over at the last minute.

"Do you have any qualifications for working at a PR firm?" Liam had asked, not really expecting him to answer in the positive.

He'd come back from a lunch meeting and found Zayn chatting away to this _kid_ outside his office, both of them lounging around on the seats, reserved for _important people,_ like they were at a house party. Of course they hit it off from the word go, that's when Liam should've known this would be nothing but trouble.

Liam didn't even invite him back into the office, staring incredulously at the hand offered towards him - he wasn't even _aware_ he required an assistant any more, he was doing fine on his own.

Funny, that's still the lie he tells the most often.

"Well. I graduated as a theatre major and this one time we-"

"Okay, that's fine, thank you. It was nice to meet you," Liam said as politely as he could, trying not to show how ruffled he was by this _ambush_. Zayn's said on more than one occasion that he can be kind of a control freak but Liam thinks it makes him more efficient. He straightened his tie, raised an eyebrow at Zayn who just rolled his eyes right back at him, the arse, and started towards his door.

"Look, I graduated with a degree in theatre arts but I can _file_. My mum used to work for Simon Cowell, back before he was the big shot money maker, and I always helped her out with all that. I can't seem to find or hold a job and I really, _really_ need to make the rent this month," Louis said, apparently not above begging.

Liam paused, feeling a headache already starting to form at his temples. Simon Cowell. _God_.

"Speaking of, my roommate also knows Simon Cowell - that's how I got the interview in the first place," Louis said, jumping on the pause like a shark smelling blood. He was quick, Liam had to give him that.

"This isn't an interview," Liam said, spreading his arm to point out the fact they hadn't even made it into his office. "Who starts an interview after lunch?" Liam asked no one in particular, Zayn had already disappeared to wherever he disappeared off to when he wasn't fixing Liam's mistakes.

Louis looked up at him and Liam had never seen this mix of distaste and hope so blatant on someone's faced _._ He didn't know anyone could look so downright insolent while pleading for a chance. Liam sighed.

"Come in, let's do this properly then," Liam said brusquely, turning around to enter his office.

"His name's Harry Styles. He was in a sex tape with someone from Simon's company, you know the one," Louis said, clicking his fingers as if he's trying to remember. "Oh shit, I left my resume outside."

Liam took a seat at his desk, shaking his head in disbelief and fighting the crazy urge of his mouth quirking up. It does sound awfully familiar, Liam remembered working on that.

Louis finally made it back into his office, on the brink of taking a seat before jumping up to close the door and Liam's exasperation turned into amusement pretty quickly.

"I'm Louis Tomlinson," he finally said, smiling across at Liam, flashing his pointy canines.

The same thing happened inside his rib cage as when Liam first noticed his eyes, a panicked fluttering that Liam pushed down urgently to get on with it.

It's a miracle that it's the same Louis Tomlinson who had come in rumpled and looking like he'd been rolled around the bus on the way to work. Now, he's the only person Liam goes to when he can't get his tie to lie particularly right before a big meeting now ("What would you do without me? Die. The answer is die."). It did get worse before it got better though, striped t-shirts underneath blazers and trousers rolled up at his ankles in colours Liam could spot a mile away. Liam remembers saying something about it.

It's been three years and he's moved on to fitted button downs and trousers and when he first came into the office paired with his thick red braces as well - Liam had to go sit in his office for a little while.

"Tie or no tie?" Louis asks impatiently.

"I don't know," Liam says. He'd meant to say _I don't care_ but his mouth never seems to listen. "Looks good either way. Go ask Zayn, he knows better. Actually, why don't you go do the job you're paid to do."

Louis makes a vague gesture with his hands that could possibly be not offensive if Liam squints hard enough.

Liam thought that Louis would ask if he could leave early for the date, or just finish up and leave early anyway. Liam finally walks out of his office, closing the door behind him. When he turns around, Louis' still clearing up his belongings into his bag. He looks up with a surprised little smile, an eyebrow quirking up and Liam almost drops his jacket.

"Now you can't go on about how you're always coming and leaving before I do," Louis says with no real malice, throwing some last minute things into his bag before slinging it over his head.

Liam has no other choice, besides going back into his office and waiting another five minutes like an undignified _idiot_ , but to fall into step besides Louis. They walk down the hallway to the elevator, falling into step with each other naturally.

"But I do," Liam points out, watching Louis flick away lint from his cardigan with deliberately careful movements.

"Yeah but I make you tea with that god awful amount of sugar unlike any other sane person on this earth," Louis says as they get into the elevator. He's almost bouncing on the balls of his feet, excited to be finally leaving work.

All Liam's got looking forward to is his empty apartment. He's probably going to look through the Jefferson file again to make sure there isn't anything else they could do and get to work setting up the press conference for next week. Or he'll have some wine and go to bed.

"I just like my tea sweet," Liam says for the four hundredth time, still smiling like it's the first time.

"You wouldn't have to spend so much time in the _gym_ if you drank tea like a normal person," Louis says coyly, looking at him from under his eyelashes. He says the word 'gym' as if it's a dirty word, huffing a bit at the absurdity of it all.

"I like working out," Liam says, crossing his arms. He can see Louis' eyes track the movement of his arms, following the bulge in his biceps through his sleeves.

"Yuh-huh," Louis says flippantly, looking away.

It's been cloudy and grey all day, making the day drag and appear later than it was. By the time they get down to the lobby and out the glass doors, it's raining heavily. Liam looks out in surprise, it must've started when they were in the elevator, he'd have been able to see from his office. He couldn't have been _that_ distracted, surely.

"Bollocks," Louis says, his hand hovering over his hair even though they haven't made it out into the open rain yet. He looks dismayed, hesitating under the shade and gnawing worriedly on his bottom lip.

"What is it?" Liam asks, glancing around. It's just a bit of rain, it's not like they're not used to it.

"I have a date," Louis says, glancing up at the sky again.

"I figured," Liam says, not getting what's the matter yet.

It clicks then, Louis is worried the _rain's_ going to ruin his hair for the date. He pulls his jacket out from under his arm, pulling it above his head. "Get under my jacket."

Louis looks up at the little space Liam's created besides him underneath there, an amused quirk of his lips following. "Are you going to make me take it to the dry cleaners?"

"Not this time," Liam says.

He keeps slipping up. He keeps doing things for Louis he doesn't mean to, things that definitely cross the line he's so carefully drawn in to keep him safe.

But the knot of tension in his heart starts slipping away as soon as Louis crowds in close, the smell of his cologne, day-old and undeniably Louis underneath it all, is enough to make it better.

"C'mon, my knight in shining armour. Bus stop is this way," Louis says, one hand slipping around Liam's waist, as if it was just so easy. His other hand comes up to hold Liam's arm more securely over his head, his fingers digging into his bicep.

Louis has a second date with Nick and then a third and then he stops counting.

~

Liam will admit that, objectively, Louis is a good-looking man. It's all part of what makes him so charming, sharp cheekbones and canines, a quick smile that can be as cutting as it can be warm. He's got a reliable looking frame, strength in his arms and thighs - he uses it all to his advantage. Liam's only noticed because it works very well on people.

He's not blind. He can _see_ Louis after all but sometimes it's in the weirdest moments that he thinks Louis is rather attractive, like when Liam's on the phone with a Very Important Swot he can hardly _stand_ , and Louis pulls awful faces at Liam through the glass panel to get him to break and laugh inappropriately. Or that one time when he fell asleep at his desk and jerked awake, drooling, eyes puffy and tired, to meet Liam's thoroughly disapproving gaze.

And so Liam can't seem to comprehend why he's so shocked when he comes back to his office from an early morning meeting to find Louis finally sitting at his desk.

He wasn't there when Liam came in, he usually wasn't because Liam was all about early morning starts and Louis was all about all nighters. Louis usually stumbled in five to something minutes late, looking ruffled around the edges before he got settled in and the day began to move smoothly again. It'd been way too early for Louis to be in but Liam had been meaning to talk to him about his punctuality. It's been getting worse lately. He had this whole speech about how it really shouldn't keep happening and maybe remind Louis that Liam has the power to _fire_ him (one day, well, some day, the threat won't be effective at all if Liam doesn't keep telling himself).

All of that fades into the distance and the thought that Zayn was right, Zayn's _always_ right, kind of floats around in the back of his brain.

Liam's mouth parts silently, momentarily stupid. Louis cuts in abruptly, like he does when he thinks Liam's going to tell him off for something like accidentally calling Someone Important a _ponce_ or putting his feet up on the couch in Liam's office (which wasn't even supposed to be in use, it was mostly for decoration) and staining it with god knows what before a big meeting. Louis does end up apologising but it's always after a mini rant about how that git _was_ being a complete ponce or how Liam shouldn't buy furniture as decoration because it was a sick thing to do and how Liam was a very sick man ("I bet you bought a telly to have something to point your furniture at, you monster.")

"I wasn't late today!" Louis says hurriedly. He mumbles to himself, "not that late anyway. I brought you coffee but Zayn drank it." Louis nods seriously as if this is supposed to make Liam feel better and pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

It makes sense. How sometimes Louis pushes at the bridge of his nose and gets this look on his face when he realises there's nothing there, forgetting he doesn't wear them regularly any more. Liam doesn't watch Louis, he just sees him a lot.

"Um," Liam says intelligently, taking in the way the black plastic frames sit on his angular face, they make his cheekbones look sharper than ever and his hair seems softer today, less styled, it's a good contrast.

There's a brief moment where Liam imagines another side of Louis, the side he doesn't get to see, the one who lounges around in his pyjama bottoms and raggedy shirts and doesn't bother with his contacts or his hair, his tattoos visible.

"You're wearing glasses," Liam says, once again, providing witty one-liners in face of one of the biggest crises of his life.

"I was in a hurry this morning, I didn't have time to put in my lenses - I mean, the bus was late through no fault of my own," Louis quickly covers, trying to make that sound smoother than it really was.

Liam takes in a sharp breath, tightening his grip on the files he has in his hands. He pulls himself together and makes himself put the files down on Louis' desk harder than necessary. The big sigh forcing itself out isn't deliberate though and he says in a weary tone, "Louis, this is the third time this week, Christ -"

"I know, I know," Louis says quickly. "I'm sorry, the honeymoon stage won't last too long, they never do - it won't happen again."

"Won't happen again _this week,_ " Zayn shouts out from somewhere, sounding like he's underneath a desk, pretending to fix someone's computer so he could eavesdrop on the happenings of Liam's office.

Liam clears his throat, rapping his knuckle against the file on the corner of Louis' desk for a second. "Make sure it doesn't," he says curtly, looking one last time, his heart feeling bound up and tight.

He disappears into his office and spends the next five minutes resting his forehead against his fist on top of all the paper work. He still asks Louis to bring in the journalist's number he has on file, Finkleberg he thinks his name was, even though he doesn't really need it for at least two weeks. Louis says something about Finkleberg's work ethic and it's scathing and inappropriate but it still makes a laugh choke in Liam's throat and Louis grins back.

~

Liam usually goes to visit at the hospital on Thursday mornings. It's not ideal but it's when she used to be able to remember the most. It's when he can't go three weeks in a row and he can't think of anything else to do that he asks Louis. He knows it's not in the job description, he's definitely asking for something here that Louis does not owe him.

"Do you think you could just check up on her?" Liam asks over the phone, stuck in traffic.

"Sure."

"She won't remember, she doesn't remember me," Liam says.

"I've got it, don't worry," Louis says and hangs up.

The meeting ends earlier than Liam expected and he manages to get to the hospital before the visiting hours are over. Louis is still there, sitting by her bed. There are fresh flowers in the vase and he's leaning over to look at the photo album she's showing him.

Liam talks to the nurses and talks to his mum for a bit until he has to leave. Louis stays until the visiting hours are over and says, "She was showing me baby pictures of you. You were a cute kid, I have no idea where it all went wrong."

Liam laughs tiredly.

"She really loved you," Louis says and it hurts a lot more.

~

  
Liam can't pinpoint exactly when the change occurred. How it went from being distracting, a bothersome _trial_ really, to a deep unsetting feeling of when Louis wasn't in the office. He's pretty sure he's survived all those years without Louis in the office, he doesn't know why it should be any different now. He's just somehow gotten accustomed to him, it's been over a year since he started and Liam's stopped looking for faults so he could have a good enough excuse to be done with him. He's important, Louis is, in the running of this office and maybe for his sanity. He's sure they could've been better friends, at a different stage of his life.

"Hey buddy," Louis says, bringing in two cups of tea, a packet of biscuits held between his teeth. Liam can still distinctly make out what he's saying. "Don't beat yourself up over it."

Liam's been _trying_ not to let this get the better of him, trying to pull himself back up and get on with whatever came next in his line of work, to keep moving because he doesn't know what else to do now. Liam lifts his head off the desk to glance at Louis, his hair's different today and Liam's never that good at pinpointing what it is exactly but it looks nice. Liam tries to stop dwelling on the fact he'd fucked up, gave the wrong information to the wrong press people - he promised himself he'd only drown in self-pity for another five minutes but Louis is not having any of it apparently.

"Everybody makes mistakes, everybody has those days," Louis says in a sing-song voice, shimmying his hips a little, holding the tea out in front of him so it doesn't go splashing every where.

"What are you doing?" Liam asks incredulously, the corner of his mouth quirking up on its own accord.

"Hannah Montana," Louis says as if it's obvious, setting the everything down at Liam's desk. "Miley Stewart's pop sensation alter ego? God, Liam, do you live under a rock?"

"What is that?" Liam asks.

Sometimes Louis brings him tea and he stays, sitting on the seat across Liam's desk and tilting it back every so slightly. He doesn't take a seat this time and instead walks over to Liam's side of the desk without so much as asking for permission and leans over Liam's torso to get to his computer. Liam makes a vague sound of protest, wheeling himself backwards (but not all that much), as Louis minimizes the email he's been drafting up and goes on YouTube to look for the song.

"What _is_ this? Why do you know a Hannah Mannah song?" Liam asks, trying not to make it so obvious he's using most of his focus on remaining relaxed in his seat. He's just not used to people popping into his personal bubble so often, so casually, and Louis doesn't seem to understand the concept of it. Liam's body freezes up because he's unaccustomed to it, that's what he tells himself, not because he's reminding himself that he's not allowed. Zayn would've said something like he wasn't hugged enough as a child. That is why Liam has his tea with Louis and not Zayn.

Louis is still leaning over Liam's lap to get at the keyboard when he turns his head to smile at Liam, hair falling into his face before he pushes it back in an impatient gesture. "I have four younger sisters, I have a deep and spiritual connection with Hannah Montana."

Liam feels himself almost _flush._ Liam clears his throat uncomfortably and his bare forearm brushes against Louis' waist when he pulls back.

Liam can obviously put the pieces together. He's seen the framed pictures on Louis' desk, all four girls smiling at the camera and the baby picture of the twins Liam sometimes catches him talking to when it's really quiet and a fairly uneventful day. That's back when he was firmly in belief that Louis was actually loony. Liam doesn't have one picture on his desk, not even the picture of his parents before the car accident. He doesn't see how it would help him be a more productive member of this office.

"She's gotten me out of a lot of sticky situations, Hannah Montana. Like when I missed Phoebe's dance recital, she wasn't talking to me until I got her a Hannah Montana pencil case," Louis says, oblivious or at least acting it for Liam's sake. He takes a seat, swinging his legs over the side like he's still in school.

"Is she one of the twins?" Liam asks, genuinely curious beside himself.

Louis face lights up and he smiles again, reaching for a biscuit as he says, "Yes!" And stays.

Liam has Nobody's Perfect stuck in his head for the rest of the day (and the look on Louis' face when he's talking about his sisters, but that's neither here nor there).

~

Danielle knows Liam better than a lot of other people - but that's only because a lot of people don't really know him at all. He doesn't think he's all that hard to figure out. They used to go out, a long _long_ time ago, where everything seemed like it would go differently to how things are now. Liam thought he was going to marry her one day. She works on the other side of the building, she doesn't come to Liam often but he thinks they might be friends. He attended her wedding, congratulated her beautiful beaming face and genuinely wished her the very best. It's probably better this way.

He's not spying. He's hidden from view because the blinds are still drawn over the glass panels. Cavendash was paranoid as all fuck and thought there would be undercover paraparazzi in a _PR firm_. The door's slightly open from when Cavendash stormed out - it's not like Liam did all this deliberately for the sole purpose of hearing about the date Danielle wants to set him up with.

She's telling Louis like it's a normal thing she could be doing. Louis has a way of getting people to confide in him.

"Poor girl, you can't send her out on a date with him!" Louis says, trying to keep his voice down while getting his point across. Liam can hear him fussing about with things on his desk.

"Why not? He's handsome and kind and his arms are like the size of my thighs," Danielle says. "She's my friend but she's not the queen, she could do a lot worse than Liam."

He was on his way out, he didn't mean to stop at the door, withdrawing his hand from the doorknob when he heard his own name.

"That's because you've got tiny thighs," Louis says petulantly, making Danielle laugh. "Is she pretty?" he asks after a pause, his hands stilling.

"Gorgeous! Cute smile, blue eyes, Liam would love her," Danielle says.

"Even so," Louis grumbles, going all stroppy like he's had to take shit from corporate arseholes on a power trip all day - Liam just usually gets him a donut and one of those Starbucks drinks. "He has no _emotions_ , like Linda Belcher once said 'he's all stunted inside like a big dumb man'. What are they going to do for the whole date? Look at each other and discuss the finer workings of Liam's job?"

"Oh, come on, don't quote Bob's Burgers at me - there's more to him than -" Danielle says lightly, and Liam doesn't hear the rest, he doesn't want to hear Danielle defending him - or possibly not. It's probably all true. It was one of the major reasons they couldn't make it work.

He takes a couple of steps backwards, his footsteps near silent on the carpeting. He makes an unusually noisy exit, clearing his throat and hastily nodding at Danielle as he passes the both of them entirely. He doesn't look back.

Liam _does_ go on a date with the girl Danielle sets him up with. Her name is Ruby and she has short brown hair framing her pretty face, she's beautiful and completely smitten with Liam. He tries his best to be charming, the best version of himself that he can be - someone that's lively, fun to talk to, worth her adoration. He tries his best to pour everything he can into it, to make it work, to be _happy_.

Liam wants to fall in love with Ruby but that's never the way it works.

~

Liam doesn't know what it is exactly, but Louis doesn't seem like himself. He's in one of his bad moods more often these days and Liam's bewildered. He doesn't know what it is, maybe latent remnants of his initial dislike of Liam that reared its ugly head again. He's gloomy for weeks and he keeps his head down. He doesn't bother making fun of Zayn when the Pizza Delivery Guy, who's introduced himself as Niall but is still unfortunately referred to as the Pizza Delivery Guy, leaves and Zayn's still grinning like an idiot.

Punctuality is at the top of Liam's list of priorities, he's not late very often, but it spikes to an all time high as he dates Ruby. It's not just because he has someone to spend the mornings with. It's a lot less romantic than that. He sometimes forgets to bring a spare change of clothes when he stays the night and has to make the trip all the way back to his flat or he takes the wrong turn from her place and can't seem to find the route to their office.

He thinks it might be karma for all the times Liam's told Louis off for being late. Louis doesn't take the bait though, he doesn't say anything.

He dates Ruby for four whole months, learns the constellation of freckles on her back and the sweet tip of her cold nose in the mornings. She grew her hair since she was ten years old and only cut it all off two years ago. Her whole body trembles when she sneezes. She's had a cat for all of her life. She can't stand the smell of tomatoes and she's in love with Liam.

He's perfectly happy with Ruby until she tells him she loves him.

~

It happens once or twice.

They're called into crisis mode and Louis gets dragged out of bed with his pyjamas still on, hair fluffy and sticking up in odd directions. They sit on the floor, surrounded by a sea of paper. Louis does a fair amount and then the coffee runs out and he falls asleep with his cheek pressed against Liam's shoulder blade, paper and pen falling out of his limp hands. Other times Louis crowds into his personal space, tugging at his tie even though Liam's sure he's done a pretty good job of it.

They have a married couple as their next big potential client, Mr and Mrs Lee, and they must've seen something like that and got the wrong idea because they think Liam and Louis are _dating_. They're both seeing other people, they don't get a chance to explain before she cuts in.

"You should bring your boyfriend to lunch, make it a bit more casual," she says with a easy, lovely laugh before leaving.

It's a bit awkward in the elevator going back up to their office. They can all finally go home now and there's other people from the team in the elevator going up to get their stuff. Liam can't do anything but clear his throat, wondering if he should just somehow skip over what just happened entirely or find a way to bring it up without sounding like an idiot.

"That was," Louis says immediately, once it clears of people. He doesn't look at Liam, keeps his eyes carefully trained on the numbers going up.

"Ridiculous," Liam says, trying to sound flippant and failing. He laughs a little, trailing off into another silence. He thinks about Louis' fists curled against the small of his back as he slept. "We can fit them in, right?"

"I can do anything," Louis says confidently, his cheek still creased from passing out on Liam after working for too many hours straight. He clasps his hands in front of him and primly says, "I'm amazing like that."

"You don't have to come to the lunch if you don't want to," Liam says, awkwardly. He figure it's worth a shot, they'd probably have a better chance with the Lees if they actually liked them and Louis _is_ very charming. Pretending wouldn't be so hard.

"It's okay to ask me to come, you know that right? You can ask for things?" Louis asks as if he's talking to a small child. His voice softens though, the teasing melting out, "You don't have to do everything by yourself."

"Well," Liam says, and clears his throat. "It's up to you."

"Free lunch," Louis says and shrugs. "I'll make reservations at Rosario's, they look like the type to eat lunch at places that need reservations."

Louis crowds into his space before they go out for the lunch meeting, holding a lint roller threateningly in his hand. He arches an eyebrow up as if daring Liam to protest, to push him out of his personal bubble so Louis can sigh and roll his eyes like Liam's the one that's a bit fucked up (which is true but he doesn't think that's the point).

"When did you get a pet?" Louis says and gets to work, rolling the thing across his shoulders.

"Ruby has a cat," Liam says, his fingers fidgeting. His heart stutters in his chest at her name. He'd been working up all day to say it back, _I love you too_. He needs to say it back.

He feels out of sorts, he always does when Louis is so close that he can smell that particular scent his cologne leaves on his skin, the one that's different than it is straight from the bottle.

Louis seems to mirror the tension in his body, awkwardly stepping back when he's done.

The lunch goes fine. They get the Lees. On the way back to the office, Louis is distracted by a baby for a couple of minutes, booping it on the nose while his mother smiles fondly and Liam thinks about kissing him. It's the night he breaks it off with Ruby.

~

It wasn't nearly enough, Liam trying.

It's not fair to Ruby, nobody deserves that and just because Liam lies to himself constantly (about what he wants, what he needs, what he could have), it doesn't mean he believes himself all that well. Liam can't be in a relationship with another person, hoping to fall in love one day when he knows what his heart's already capable of feeling. Just not for Ruby.

Liam's all alone again and that's how it should be.

~

The first time Liam visits Louis' flat is also the first time they go to an event together. It's the first of many, both dropping Louis off home late after trying to organise a last minute fund-raiser and going to endless events together. It's not like they go as a _couple_ , Louis doesn't have a car and Liam's not going to make him take a bus in his _suit_. It has nothing to do with the fact Liam is usually alone and miserable at these stupid, unnecessary, grand gestures. He's expected to attend so he attends. That's just the way it goes. Maybe it's just a little bit easier with Louis there.

He stays parked outside Louis' flat, looking down at his watch. He's waiting for him, he's already got a text from Louis saying he's running late but Liam's early on principle. He jumps when his phone starts buzzing in his hand. It's Louis calling and when Liam picks up he sounds flustered and angry, stomping around the place and making noise as if he's picking things up and putting them down again for no reason but to have something to do with his hands. He can hear someone shouting in the background.

"I'm going to be a while. You should just go without me," Louis says, his voice tight.

Liam wonders what happened to his date, figures he shouldn't really ask now. Louis had been pretty excited for this though, he hasn't attended any special events before and they're only there because of the sponsorship involving their firm but he was bringing a date and everything.

Louis hangs up abruptly, heaving in a deep breath like he's going to start shouting back before the phone clicks. Liam gets out of the car and walks up to the building, climbing the stairs, side stepping the mould to the best of his abilities and trying not to splash in any substances he doesn't want to examine too closely. He gets to Louis' door in time to hear Louis yelling something that sounds extraordinarily like _and fuck you very much_ before he bursts out the door.

Louis stands there for a second, wide-eyed like a dear caught in the headlights, the door still swinging wide open behind him. He stares at Liam in shock, his cheeks all pinked. Liam catches a glimpse of the inside of his flat and Nick with his ridiculously stupid swoopy hair before the door slams shut. Louis continues to stand there in his lovely fitted button down gaping at his neck, his hands stuffed petulantly into the pockets of his trousers.

"C'mon," Liam says, "we're not that late."

"I thought you left," Louis says dumbly. He's still tense but he becomes wary all of a sudden, "I don't have a tie and there's no chance in hell I'm going back in there right now."

"It's fine, you look great," Liam says honestly, because, well, he _does_. He hurriedly ushers Louis down the stairs and it's only very true from the back as well.

Louis turns around to raise an eyebrow at him, his hair doing that thing it does sometimes, where it swoops everywhere and still manages to look perfect. Liam just shrugs at him.

"What happened?" Liam asks once they're in his car, safely driving off. He knows he shouldn't ask.

"Fight with the missus," Louis says, tight-lipped. "Nick was supposed to come tonight but I guess not," Louis trails off, shaking his head and fuming silently in his seat.

"Heh," Liam says.

Liam can practically feel the tension and anger draining out of Louis' body, relaxing into his seat as he snorts out a disbelieving laugh at his pun.

"I thought you would've brought Ruby tonight," Louis says and when Liam turns his head to glance at him quickly, he's lounging in his seat like he belongs, his head lolling back. He's fiddling with his cuff links, his knee jumping every now and then like he's still amped.

"We broke up," Liam says, turning his eyes back onto the road and keeping his voice level.

"Oh," Louis says softly after a beat.

When Liam chances a glance at him again, he's looking at Liam all soft and sad and Liam feels awkward and cramped at the pity. He clears his throat and shrugs again.

"I guess that's why I'm here. That's just really shit, Liam. Sorry about it," Louis says, reaching out to touch his palm against his Liam's shoulder.

"It's not your fault, is it?" Liam says reasonably, shoulders tight.

Louis squeezes once and lets go.

Louis drinks a little bit too much of free champagne and he's a little more loud and affectionate but he's still his charming self and Liam concludes it was a better evening than it would've been if he went by himself. Apparently Niall is not just the Pizza Delivery Guy but the owner of the whole franchise because he's sponsoring the event as well and he's brought Zayn along. Liam has to drag Louis away before he can piss himself laughing.

They fuck off halfway through one of the self-indulgent speeches to sit on the balcony and Liam watches Louis drink the bottle of champagne he's stolen. Liam doesn't drink, he's the one driving them home after all. He doesn't think it'd be very profession to be drinking with one of his employees anyway. If it's just Louis drinking, there's nothing Liam can do about it.

They're sitting side by side, thighs pressed together, when Louis gets a call from Nick. Liam tries to give them privacy but he can still hear them make up. He's glad his break up with Ruby was at least good for something. Louis should realise it's better than to be alone.

Louis' tipsy when he hugs Liam goodbye after Liam helps him into the building, holding on tight.

"I'm sorry it didn't work out with Ruby, you deserve to be happy," he says and lets go, waving as the door opens and someone, presumably his boyfriend, tugs him into the flat by his waistband, his giggle reaching Liam before the door shuts.

Liam takes a deep breath and climbs down the stairs to get back to his empty car.

It doesn't last. Louis and Nick break up before the month is over. It's hard for Liam not to notice, they do spend a lot of time together. Liam doesn't hug him like Louis did but Louis looks at him like he doesn't expect him to any more.

~

Sometimes Liam just...Liam wants to _talk_ to Louis and he finds he has no real good excuse. He doesn't call him into his office unless he needs something, briefing papers, reports, in the guise of preparing for a meeting he's already very well prepared for. Most of the time, Louis just barges in on his own accord if Liam's not busy, like he has a certain _right_. Liam blames himself, he should've nipped it in the bud to maintain some kind of pretence that there was a certain line, but he got swept away. He's not complaining, even when Louis takes a seat and starts talking about the disgusting things he's heard coming from Harry's room the other night.

It's not like Liam can do what Louis does, slam open his office door and disrupt whatever Louis is doing to sit on the corner of his desk like so many people do (passing interns, Danny, the Pizza Delivery Guy who's not really the Pizza Delivery Guy, Zayn, Danielle when she routinely surfaces from HR).

Liam does so anyway, not letting himself overthink. He rubs his palms against his thigh, restless and opens the door. Louis doesn't startle before spinning around in his seat like he used to, quickly minimizing whatever he was doing with a Word Document already on the go. Louis doesn't even turn around this time, just makes a sound like he's deep in thought and asks, "Can we get an office puppy?"

"That's not a thing," Liam says, leaning against the doorway and staring at the back of Louis' head, smiling involuntarily, like he always seems to do when Louis is not looking his way. Louis makes absolutely no move to minimize the Google image search of puppies he already has up.

"We can _make_ it a thing! To relieve stress and uplift moral. I'll just sneak in and lay the puppy over your head when you're stressing out," Louis says convincingly, clicking so the image of a labrador puppy pops up. He finally turns around, pointing at his screen enthusiastically.

"I quite like huskies," Liam says indulgently.

Louis turns back around to type it in, like he thinks he actually has a chance of getting Liam around to get them an office puppy. The screen fills up with puppies again and Louis makes this sound that makes Liam's belly twist, warmed.

"We shall call him...?" Louis asks, tapping at the blue-eyed husky puppy on the screen, even after Zayn's told him time and time again not to.

"Loki," Liam says, grinning at him.

"We shall call him Loki and he shall be ours and he shall be our Loki," Louis says solemnly and Liam can't help the laughter bubbling out of him.

He's already trying to muster up the strength to tell Louis to get back to work instead of smiling soppily at the back of his head before Zayn comes around and gives him a pointed, knowing look. Liam always has to retreat back into his office after that.

~

It also means Liam's not the only one who wants to talk to Liam, Louis gets a lot of attention from a lot of people. Danny is a frequent visitor. He knows it's him when there's a lot of laughing from Louis. Louis isn't exactly complaining about the distraction, even if every one of his trips are unnecessary.

Liam walks out of his office without any kind of plan. He tries not to act on impulse but sometimes -

"Liam," Danny says, looking up from Louis' delighted face to Liam. He smiles at him, all friendly and handsome. Liam tries not to frown.

He gives him a nod instead, drawing himself to his full height. "Harrison was looking for you, said it was pretty important. Speaking of, we've got some work to do ourselves."

Louis turns around in his chair slowly, giving Liam a flat, unimpressed look. Liam pretends he doesn't notice Louis' gaze.

"Alright mate, I'm off but the next time you feel up for a game, just give us a call, yeah?" Danny says, leaning in even closer to Louis before he gets up off his desk, sweeping out of the place and sauntering off into the depths of hell where he came from, being particularly handsome and striking on the way out.

"What work?" Louis demands, turning around once again to glare at him. "Leave Danny alone. His face is the highlight of my week."

Liam raises an eyebrow at him and Louis keeps glaring. Louis interprets his stalling for something else entirely because he says, "I'm not slacking off, I've done my work!"

"There's a no-dating policy in this office," Liam says instead, taking his hands out of his pockets to start rolling up his sleeves in lieu of something to do with them, glancing down and away from Louis.

"I know. Flirting's never hurt anyone," Louis says, his voice going all soft like it does sometimes, turning around sharply a moment later to start ruffling through the mass of papers that seems to constantly be splayed all over his desk.

"I'm going to spill some tea on my keyboard and have Zayn come fix it so I can get him to talk about his feelings," Louis says after a beat. He's overly invested in Zayn and the Pizza Delivery Guy's relationship.

"Don't do that," Liam says, trying to sound stern and cross and coming off as slightly pleading instead. "Just ask him."

"Alright," Louis says, shooting him a doubtful look over his cup of tea as if he doesn't think it would work

Liam turns back into his office, closing the door behind him so he won't be tempted to chase Danny away if he came back. It is, of course, none of his business.

~

Liam doesn't regret hiring Louis, it's the furthest thing from it. He's clever and quick-witted and he's _good_ with people in a way Liam never was. It's amazing, he's amazing and Liam doesn't understand how he survived so long without him. In the professional sense.

He has a way of drawing something out of people and Liam's endlessly fascinated, unable to figure out. It also means that a lot of people are fond of him, much more fond of Louis than they will ever be of Liam.

This includes interns who sit on the edge of Louis' desk and talk about their Media and Communications degree while Louis nods, speaking up every now to show he's listening while typing away. Liam keeps hearing them laughing outside, but then he hears a lot more laughter (his own and everyone else's) since Louis has been here.

Liam walks out of his office, not looking up from the figures printed on the sheet to tell Louis he's given him the file from the wrong year. He looks up and raises an eyebrow in surprise. There are two _youths_ sitting next to Louis, cramped behind his desk in their office's shittiest chairs, staring intently at his screen.

"What's going on?" Liam asks, waving the file around to get their attention.

They all look up as Liam rounds the desk to glare at them properly. Louis hurriedly clicks the game of solitaire closed and shoves his mouse away like it could be incriminating. Liam doesn't know how three people can play one game of solitaire. The game is called _solitaire_.

"Interns. Remember, I told you they were hanging around for a bit? It was on the agenda and everything," Louis says, getting out of his seat and walking around the desk as well, going for the file in Liam's hand. He leans against his desk, rifling through it, and says, "Plus you didn't specify which year, I just grabbed the most recent report."

"Hang on, how long's a "bit"?" Liam asks, he leans in closer to Louis, trying not to appear rude even if he's severely unimpressed with this situation. Interns are never good news and there are usually 1 out of 4 who are actually willing to learn instead of pissing about and using the office WiFi.

Louis shrugs and raises an eyebrow at the both of them. The both of them get up straight away as if on cue. Liam notices the girl's dark red hair and perfectly ironed clothes in comparison to the boy's rumpled shirt. He has stupidly blue eyes.

"Three weeks," she says with an easy grin. "I'm Jade Thirlwall, nice to meet you." She looks sweet, but with an edge - in a way that makes Liam believe she could make a grown man cry.

"Jordan Goodman," the boy says, smiling too. His eyes crinkle in the corners, just like Louis' does when he grins, and it throws Liam off for only a moment.

"Liam Payne," he says, shaking both their hands and shooting Louis a panicked look.

Youth.

Liam didn't understand them all that well when he was studying at uni and he understands them less now at the ripe old age of 27.

Louis rolls his eyes at him, at least making sure they don't see it to maintain the appearance of a relationship where Liam has some kind of authority. He ruins it all in the next second, pushing Liam back into his office and closing the door behind him with the right file in his hand.

"When did you tell me about them?" Liam asks, letting himself be lead away. He sits down behind his desk and fiddles with his tie for lack of nothing better to do with his hands.

"After your meeting with Simon," Louis says, handing the correct file to Liam with an air of gleeful smugness that usually comes about every once in a while Liam slips up. Louis is a firm believer in Liam being brought down a peg or two.

"Oh god," Liam says, rubbing at his face with his hand.

"You're such a _pillock_. I'll take care of them, don't worry. They've got much to learn, my young caterpillars," he says.

"Like a three person game of solitaire?" Liam asks dubiously, lifting his face to meet the grin on Louis' face. "And you can't call me a _pillock_ \- I'm your boss."

Louis sticks his tongue out at him before he shuts the door behind him.

~

Jordan is very friendly in general, what's surprising is that he's even friendlier towards Liam. Most people don't take to Liam like that. Some of the things, Liam has to say, are unwarranted. He brings little pastries to work and gives them with Liam. The only way Liam can accept them is if he offers to share and that's how he ends up spending his lunch. Louis walks in on them with a plate of risotto, saying, "Harry made way too much last night and I figured you could take a break from all that microwaved shit you-"

"Hi," Jordan says, turning around and smiling prettily at Louis.

Louis doesn't really say anything. His lips turn kind of thin and he walks straight out of the office before Liam can steal a bite of risotto. It leaves a ball of confusion at the back of his throat that won't go down no matter how many times he swallows. Jordan turns back to him and gives him a shrug.

After the second week, Jordan kisses him in the elevator. They're the only two in there and Liam isn't expecting it.

"I'm leaving in a week anyway," he says against Liam's lips and Liam is terrible for not pushing him away.

He reminds him of something that's become unattainable, like building a home out of something, and he chases his mouth, pressing him into the side of the elevator, licking into his mouth. When he pulls back, his eyes lidded and heavy, he's confused. His hair isn't light enough and his skin's far too pale and the shape of his mouth is foreign. Liam stops comparing Jordan to anyone, to anything, and kisses him again.

~

Louis sends Jordan to do stupid things more often than he sends Jade. He sends him to distant parts of the building and continues to send him on errands that keep him away from Liam. He thinks Louis knows Liam pretty well by now. He doesn't know if his unease and regret around Jordan is obvious, enough for Louis to tell at least, or he's just having some fun and making Jordan's life hell. Either way, he's so fucking grateful. He feels sick, thinking about kissing Jordan just because he reminds him of -

Because it's selfish and fucked up and the kid hasn't even graduated from _uni_ yet.

Louis gives Liam a look he can't quite understand before looking up in distaste when Jordan returns. He sends him away almost immediately and Liam's only too aware of the fact that he still can't decipher bits of Louis. He's not going to ask though, Jade's keeping Louis too busy with her constant questions and actual interest in what he's doing. Maybe he just decided he hates interns. Louis doesn't seem to mind _her_.

~

When Jordan leaves, he scribbles his number on the back of one of Liam's business cards and slips it into his palm when he shakes his hand.

Liam scrunches it up and throws it at Louis when he returns late after an hour long lunch with his mum.

~

It's the second holiday Liam has known Louis. He buys everyone a gift card as always because it's appropriate and suitable and there's nothing that could possibly go wrong. It's safe and Liam knows all about playing it safe. But the thing is, he _wants_ to get Louis something different. It's the second Christmas they've known each other and now that Liam knows his birthday's around it as well, he feels like he could give him something that isn't a pre-bought gift card. He does end up getting him something different but it's stupid and Liam feels kind of like a dolt trying to figure out how to give to him in the first place. It's not even like it was ridiculously expensive or precious - Liam can't help feel like he might be doing something wrong, breaking a rule, by giving it to him in the first place. He tells himself it's the same thing as the comic books.

By then, Louis had started coming to work in fitted long-sleeved button down shirts that covered the tattoos on his arms and carefully tailored trousers that made Zayn wolf-whistle whenever he walked past. And more often than not - suspenders. He knows it's a result of Liam pointing out he was dressing too casual and with this gift, he's not exactly... _rewarding_ the change but he just wanted to say _thanks_.

He asks Louis into his office before he leaves for the night, back to Doncaster to spend his holidays with his family. It's dark in the office, everyone's already cleared out, excited for the holidays. Liam clears his throat awkwardly, tugging at his own shirt sleeves, looking down at it to avoid eye contact. It's nothing to get _nervous_ about. If he doesn't make it a thing, it won't _be_ a thing.

"Did you need anything else?" Louis asks and there's something in his voice, he almost sounds hopeful. It throws Liam off balance every time, like this is one of Louis' elaborate jokes he isn't cottoning on to fast enough, he has no idea what Louis might be offering but it makes his belly swoop and he tries his best to stop thinking about it at all.

"No, you're fine," Liam says instead, stating the obvious. He pretends he doesn't notice the disappointment fall over Louis' expression by groping behind him for the little case on his desk.

"Well," Louis says, disappointed, shaking out his coat. "I'm about to head off then."

"Wait," Liam says hurriedly, curling his hand into a fist and dropping it before Louis notices how he almost reached out for him. "I wanted to give you a something, for Christmas."

"You already gave me something and it wasn't a handkerchief this time," Louis says, slowing down. He turns back around and smiles suddenly as if he's excited at the prospect of getting another present. He walks closer to Liam, reaching out a hand.

"Yeah, I know, but," Liam says, his fingers finally closing on the little box behind him. He's embarrassed all of a sudden, now that he's doing it. Now that he's giving it to Louis, he feels like maybe it isn't a very good present. He wasn't really thinking of it when he saw them, he just thought _Louis_ , and bought them, layed them out against his palm until they warmed and it felt _right_ at the time.

He probably should have kept them in his palm, it's over doing it a bit, the fancy box that came with it. Louis _oohs_ and leans forward, ducking his head to see as Liam snaps it open.

"It's your birthday too, isn't it? I know how much you liked the, uh, film, so," Liam says, ending a little bit abruptly, flushing.

He stills too, his muscles involuntarily tensing like they do when Louis crowds into his personal space. It's usually just around Louis. He hates it, really, it might've been cuter and more acceptable when he was younger but now he just looks like he's too fucked to be comfortable with any physical contact.

He knows Louis liked the film though, he kept playing bits of it on his computer outside Liam's office as if he was just waiting for Liam to shout for him to use his earphones. Louis is overly invested in Iron Man and Liam's come out of his office enough times to watch over his shoulder as Louis made weird little noises and banged on his desk, only shaken out of it when the phone rang.

" _Oh_ ," Louis says, reaching out for them. He looks up at Liam, suddenly quite closer than Liam thought they'd been, his eyes shining bright, and Liam swallows hard to stabilise the ache in his throat.

"They're silly, I know," Liam says, cracking a wry grin, his heard thudding in his chest. They're little red and gold Iron Man cufflinks that Louis can wear with his new shirts. It's not much but Louis is looking at them like - like it's something worthwhile. Like he looks at Liam sometimes.

"Thank you," Louis says very softly and closes his fist around them, reaching up to hug him.

It would've made sense for Liam to freeze up, to get tense and awkward until he let him go. Instead, he curves against Louis' body, ducking down to hold him against him for a brief moment and it feels good, it feels _right_ and he that's when he lets go.

"Here," Liam says, fingers brushing against Louis' when he takes a step back and attempts to put them in immediately. Liam pulls away, thumbing at the soft, warmed skin at the inside of his wrist without really thinking about it. He hears the hitch in Louis' breathe, so small he thinks he could've imagined it. He lets go.

Louis looks down at his wrist with a smile, his eyes crinkling in the corners and he looks so pleased Liam doesn't understand why he's not buying him things all the time. He's quiet and it's a different side of Louis, a side he doesn't get to see often. Louis glances up, his smile turning cheeky, and he reaches to pinch Liam's nipple through his shirt.

Right. That's why.

"You can't threaten to fire me for that, it's my Christmas present to you, big man," he says but he's gone back to looking down at his cufflinks. He might be flushing but it's hard to tell in the dark.

Louis clears his throat again, hoping to look stern because the lights from the hall means Louis could probably see more of Liam's face than Liam can of Louis'.

"Have a good holiday, Louis," Liam says, leaning back against his desk because he's feeling a little bit wobbly. Maybe he _is_ allergic to physical contact.

"You too," Louis says, finally putting his coat on. He turns around at the door, the light shining around him a bit, and waves with a fond little smile. He disappears from his sight and Liam feels his heart finally start to descend back into its rightful place again.

~

There was that time Liam had been out of the country for two weeks. He doesn't know why Simon picked him to go to Sydney but it was a useless waste of time. Liam couldn't fix anything just by being there himself. As soon as he arrives back home, he goes straight back to his office. His hair's messy and unstyled and he's in his t-shirt and jeans but he can't be bothered to go home and change. It shouldn't matter, everyone should've gone home already.

He walks in and the last thing he expects to see is Louis slumped against his desk, dozing off. His breath catches in a way that surprises him, his chest feeling it hard. Liam's glad nobody's there to witness it. Louis has the first couple of buttons on his shirt unbuttoned with his sleeves rolled up, his tattoos peeking out. He has his head resting against his forearms on the desk, his hair starting to drop from however he styled it in the morning.

Liam hasn't seen him in a fortnight and as he looks at Louis sleeping, he realises that he's just so tired. It's not even the bone deep ache of his own loneliness any more that's pulling him down. It's not something he can sweat out at the gym or work so hard he doesn't have time to think or feel until he gets home and passes out from his own exhaustion. Liam makes himself take a step forward, trying to keep his footsteps muffled so as not to wake Louis. He knows he really should, get him to go home because he's an _idiot_ who fell asleep at his desk while everyone packed up and went home, back to their own lives. He looks so peaceful, though, the sharp lines of his face softened and sweet.

His duffel bag smashes against the desk and he sends a picture frame holding a picture of Louis' sisters flying off the edge. He scrambles to catch it before it hits the ground, dropping his bags in the process and ending up crouched next to the desk, his arms outstretched, his hands tight on the metal frame. It wakes Louis up, inevitably, and Liam barely has time to notice how long his eyelashes are against his cheekbones before Louis blinks slowly. He doesn't react in any other way to the fact Liam's face is quite close to his now, his shoulders hunched in tension as he tries not to move.

"Hey," Louis says, his voice raspy from sleep, smiling slow and sweet just for Liam.

It breaks Liam's heart, a little bit.

Liam straightens up immediately, placing the picture frame back onto his desk. He smiles back briefly, his fingers aching to brush at the crease against Louis' cheek. He grabs his bag and tightens his grip on it instead.

"What are you doing here?" Liam asks, slinging it across his shoulder again.

"Could ask you the same thing," Louis says with a yawn, straightening up in his seat and stretching out his arms. He gets a look of bliss on his face as he works out the kink before he deflates. "I just put my head down for a minute, lost track of time. How was your holiday to," Louis puts on an atrocious Australian accent, "' _Straya, mate_."

"It wasn't a _holiday_. It was absolutely useless either way," Liam says with a soft grin. He can't help it, Louis still looks so unguarded and oddly content right now. "And nobody woke you up?"

" _Bloody oath._ "

"Stop, please."

"They'd all left. What's this then? You sure you haven't gallivanting around Bondi all week? You've got a bit of a tan," Louis says, pointedly eyeing his bare arms.

"It was hot," Liam says, like an idiot. "Don't tell me you've only started pulling your weight around here after I'd left."

"Oh, pshaw. Admit it, Liam Payne, you'd die without me," Louis says, sliding his sharp teeth against his bottom lip.

Liam clears his throat, looking away and starting to walk back into his office. He almost drops his bag as he tries to get through his door. He turns around, "You look tired, Louis. Go home, get some rest."

"Nah," Louis says easily, shrugging. "It's fine. I figured you'd want to come into the office after your flight and try to catch up on all the work you've missed. You can go home to _your_ bed faster if I help you out, since I am all-knowing and magnificent and all that."

"Confusing yourself with God again?" Liam says. Louis makes a sound, neither affirming or denying.

He gets up and follows him into his office. He doesn't sit in front of Liam's desk but jumps onto the sofa, settling in. He tucks a cushion behind his head and crosses his ankles against the opposite arm. There's a reason the sofa gets so dirty all the time. Liam feels warmed, radiating from his chest, at the fact Louis knows him so well but then he realises it's his job to schedule his flights.

"How's it been?" Liam asks, sitting down at his desk.

"Absolutely _shite_. Campbell's a fucking twat, he has no idea what he's doing half the time, my _god_ ," Louis starts and Liam can't help smiling behind his palm at all. He missed Louis' voice and more importantly, Louis.

"You've got a bit of stubble going on," Louis says in the middle of his rant. "Quite manly, that," he says, wriggling his eyebrows. Liam drives him home and admits he actually did go surfing while he was there and Louis declares that the next time Liam's sent away to Australia for work, he's coming with him. He gives him a cheeky smile and rubs his knuckles quickly against Liam's jaw before getting out of the car and running away.

~

Louis kisses him late one night when the rain is slashing against the windows and it's gone unnaturally dark outside.

Liam's working late, he'd rather get everything done in the office than bring work home - that place can't get any worse than it is. After three years of working with Louis, he's learned that Louis really doesn't like being left out, he stays behind to help him even when everyone else has gone home. He doesn't know why he stays but this time he insisted he had work of his own to do, some scheduling conflict or was it a mix up of the dates with an upcoming press conference - the point is he stayed and Liam's grateful for no good reason at all. It's work. They've all got jobs to do, Louis is just doing his.

Liam doesn't know Louis finished early until he falls asleep on the sofa in Liam's office, curled up on his side with his cheek resting on his arm. It's going to be dead when he wakes up but Liam lets him be for now, can't help looking up every now and then to see his familiar face, peace at sleep.

He goes to the kitchen to make some tea before he can return to the mound on his desk. He finishes pouring the hot water into his cup when he hears Louis shuffle in. Liam hadn't turned the light on, the hazy light from the hallway had been enough for him to figure out where everything is, the windows blackened with the dark of the night outside. He can still make out the shape of Louis standing there, rubbing at his eyes and letting out a small, stifled yawn. He smiles, can't help it, feels it tugging at the corners of his mouth at the way Louis' hair has gone flat on one side with sleep. He reaches for another cup.

"Liam," Louis says, eyes going soft in the dark as they focus on Liam.

Louis doesn't say anything else. He crosses the little space between them and Liam looks at him, notices the little details like the greasy pizza stain on the collar of his white knit jumper and just really how _long_ his eyelashes are before Louis' mouth is pressed against his, the lightest of pressures.

Liam's thought about this - he's thought about it a lot. He's thought about kissing Louis for a very long time now, kissing the tip of his nose as it crinkles when he laughs too hard or his cheek when he smiles too sudden or the downturn corner of his lip or the underside of his jaw - but now that he's actually doing it, he doesn't know what to do. He tenses up immediately, going into overdrive as he tries to process it, the feel of Louis' lips against his. Louis resolutely doesn't give up, winding his arms around his neck and leaning the both of them against the counter, his lips chapped and sweet and perfect. Liam stops trying and it's like everything slots together.

His hands move on their own accord, coming up to cup Louis' jaw, to kiss him back. He kisses him all slow, tilting his jaw gently with his palms and feeling Louis melt into it, letting him hold him. Liam can't get any closer, he's close enough to feel the hitch in his breath.

It's small, it's _tiny_ , but it's enough for Liam to finally pull back in alarm. Louis doesn't let go though, following him and pressing his face against the side of Liam's neck. He holds him close, as if asking him to be brave for just another moment, and Liam can feel Louis' eyelashes against the thin skin over his pulse. Louis moves, his nose grazing against Liam's cheek and Liam's palm slips down to touch the warm, hidden skin beneath his jaw.

"Please," Louis says softly.

Liam swallows hard, keeping his eyes closed for another moment so he can school his face into something expressionless. He unwinds Louis' arms from him and puts some distance between the two of them, steps away.

"Liam," Louis starts to say, "I -" Liam straightens up abruptly. He doesn't think he can bare to hear the rest. He turns back around to face the sink, staring hard at the two cups sitting on the counter. Liam withdraws into himself, tucking away every bit of himself that can be stripped raw and hurt. He forces the warmth of Louis' body against his fade into coldness.

He cuts in before Louis can say anything else. "I think you should leave."

Louis is still close enough for Liam to feel the heat radiating from his body. " _Liam_ ," Louis says, stepping even closer and Liam shies away from his touch like he hasn't in a while now, shakes his head.

"You need to go home," he says, speaking through the ache in his throat, it feels harsh, the words, the air.

Louis doesn't stay and Liam doesn't turn back around for a while, clutching at the sink. He didn't think it could hurt this much.

~

Liam's thought about how it could be. He tries not to indulge himself with that sort of thinking too often but he had been so tired and so drunk.

He knows he's work-oriented to a fault at times, he loves his job, he's good at his job, he wants to be better at his job. All he can do is try. Still, he shouldn't have had so much to drink. Pratchett was such a valuable client and Liam wasn't above trying to get into his good graces to keep him on board. He's the driving force behind the new sponsorship and to be honest, Liam would've done a lot more to build some kind of rapport with him. It's important.

It's not like Liam's functioning on one kidney any more, he's not _that_ kid in college now.

Liam finally lifts his head off his desk, feeling nauseous and dizzy. Pratchett's gone, he left with a wide smile and a clap on Liam's back and Liam managed to hold himself together until the door shut behind him. He doesn't hear the knock at his door or Louis' little _oh_ when he catches sight of him, smells the bourbon they've shared. It's late, Louis shouldn't even be here any more. Liam doesn't understand, all evidence suggests that Louis isn't all that dedicated to his job, not like Liam is, yet he's here, isn't he?

Louis walks over and Liam vaguely registers the fact Louis is pulling at his arm, pulling it over his shoulders and fitting underneath like he was made to. He helps him over to the little sofa, dumps him there with a huff of laughter. Liam doesn't want to lift his head, everything becomes terrible if he lifts his head, he's just going to live with his chin glued to his chest. Liam leans forward instead, resting his elbows on his knees and hiding his face in his hands because this is terribly unprofessional, this isn't the state he wants to be seen in.

"Hey, you're okay," Louis says in a soothing voice, his palm running up and down between Liam's shoulder blades. Liam doesn't reply, embarrassed and drunk and afraid to open his mouth. He feels Louis weight shift besides him before he gets up.

Louis kneels down in front of him, trying to get a better look at his face to see if there's something seriously wrong. Liam doesn't think, it's usually a difficulty when Louis is this close to him. Being drunk certainly doesn't help. He slumps forward, resting his forehead against his shoulder, resting, and says thickly, "Sorry."

"You're good, it's fine," Louis says softly and Liam thinks he can hear the smile in his voice. His swot of a boss, drunk and unable to keep his head up or his pride in tact, Liam can find it funny too.

He's content to stay like this for a bit. Louis smells nice and he's giving off such a heat, warm and inviting and Liam turns his head the tiniest of fractions, his nose grazing against the bare skin of Louis' neck. He wants to stay like this.

Louis' arm comes up and it's not exactly a hug but he rests his hand at the back of Liam's head, stroking his hair as if soothing him and Liam wants to melt into him completely, let his body go slack and forward, push the both of them to the ground where he can curl up around him properly.

It's hard to remind himself why that would be so fucking _wrong_ when he's this comfortable.

"I'm going to get you some water and then I'll drive you home, okay?" Louis finally says and even in his drunken haze, Louis' voice sounds funny to Liam. Like it does sometimes when Liam goes out of his way from a meeting and stops at the bakery Louis likes all the way across town to get him his favourite muffin. Like Liam's missing something that Louis' figured out just moments before. Like he's keeping something Liam _should_ know all to himself.

"Stay with me," Liam says, pulling himself back onto the seat, letting go of Louis. He doesn't want to make him stay if he doesn't want to. He tries to pull himself together, he distantly thinks he might be asking too much, maybe Louis will stay if he pulled himself together. If he was better.

"Not going anywhere," Louis says, rather sadly, and gets up, reaching down to run his finger tips across Liam's hairline and into his hair in the most _calming_ way. "I'm just getting some water, love, you'll be fine in a few."

Louis gets Liam to drink half a bottle of water and manages to get him back home in one piece. Louis still catches a bus to work but he knows the way to Liam's house, driving his car with ease. At least Liam thinks it's ease, he's a bit drunk and everything is swaying already. He leads Liam into his immaculately clean flat and leads him into his bedroom, dropping him none too gently in his bed. He turns his head to look around the room for a moment as Liam tries to wriggle out of his trousers.

"Oh god," Louis says once Liam finally manages it, kicking it onto the floor and trying to crawl underneath the covers. They're tucked in too tight and he's having trouble. "What are you doing?" Louis asks helplessly.

Liam gives up on unbuttoning his shirt and grabs the hem, trying to pull it over his head instead. It's inevitable, he gets stuck in it, his arms caught over his head and he has a moment to think he's making quite a fool out of himself before Louis has to learn forward to help him. He's bent awkwardly, trying to keep from falling onto his massive bed. He ends up resting a knee against the edge, leaning over to unbutton a couple more buttons so he can successfully pull it over his head. Liam flops onto his back immediately, _exhausted_ , pushing his cheek into the clean pillow because he just really would like to sleep. He doesn't know why he's so convinced it'll all be better when he wakes up. It's almost never better when he wakes up.

Louis disappears for a moment and Liam closes his eyes, his arm hanging off the side of his bed in a confused attempt to follow him. He's glad Louis didn't notice. Lucky Liam's body is taking a long time to respond. Louis comes back with an empty rubbish bin and sets it down next to his bed, emptying a bottle of water into a cup at his bedside table. There's some bread wrapped up in cling wrap so it won't be stale the next morning. Liam could kiss Louis. That bit isn't new.

"Alright then," Louis says and his voice is so distant. The bed dips a bit and Liam opens his mouth, he wants to say something, maybe to ask him to sleep with him. He can imagine it, just cuddling up, all that sleep-warmed skin against his own. It'd be awfully nice, Liam can't remember why he shouldn't ask. "I hate your flat."

"Me too," Liam mumbles, he shifts his knee and it touches the small of Louis' back.

"I should probably get going, it's getting late. I'll try not to let this ruin the image of you as my boss," Louis says with a small huff of laughter. He's sitting down so close, he doesn't even have to reach that far to smooth Liam's hair back. His palm feels so great on his skin and Liam makes a snuffling noise of contentment he's going to deny, even to himself, when he finds his way back to his feet.

Liam means to say _thanks for everything, see you on Monday_ but what he actually says is, "you could stay."

It's quiet for a bit and Liam's not fighting sleep any more. There's a palm at his cheek and Louis laughs again, he still sounds sad. Liam doesn't want him to be sad so he laughs along too. Louis thumbs at his cheeks, where it scrunches up still when he smiles too hard so he sometimes looks like a school boy. Liam turns his head the tiniest bit, presses a kiss against the inside of his wrist, so light it could be nothing at all, and falls asleep.

He'd woken up the next morning in terrible confusion. His mouth tastes like shit and his head hurts. He's still wearing his socks and his very skin itself feels uncomfortable, too itchy small. He remembers last night, trying to get Pratchett like him, trying trying trying. He almost spent the night in his office. He remembers Louis driving him home and getting him into bed and groans into his pillow, trying to suffocate himself because _fuck_.

The embarrassment lasts until he hears a sound coming from outside his room. He jerks his head off the pillow to be able to hear better, wincing at his own stupidity. He finally manages to lug himself out of bed, closing his eyes for a moment when his feet touch the ground. He feels like he's going to throw up for a long second. The room doesn't stop spinning for a while and Liam waits it out with gritted teeth. He knocks over the rubbish bin on the way out. He takes cautious steps, following the sound into the kitchen.

Maybe Louis didn't lock up properly when he left. Maybe he's being burgled. Liam wishes he could take a raincheck. _Come back when I'm not hungover, thanks._

He thinks he must still be dreaming.

Louis is standing there in _his_ kitchen with one of _his_ cups in his hands, wearing one of _Liam's_ t-shirt. He turns around and almost drops his tea at the sight of Liam, his eyes going wide for the second it takes to recognise him.

"Oh shit, you scared me," Louis says like this isn't Liam's house where Liam's expected to be. Like it's perfectly normal for himself to be there. Liam subtly tries to pinch his arm but misses. He's going to chalk it up to the fact that his body is extremely dehydrated.

Liam focuses on Louis instead. His hair is ruffled and his eyes are soft with sleep. He rubs his foot against his bare calve as if to warm himself up and that's when Liam realises he's only in his underwear. Louis takes a sip of his tea, calm.

"What?" Liam manages to say, rubbing at his temple. His stomach is churning and he has heart burn. He's getting too old for this shit.

"I couldn't find a way to get home last night without high jacking your car. I crashed on your couch. And I borrowed a shirt," Louis says, gesturing at the slightly looser fitting top. "You said - that's okay, right?"

Liam pauses for a beat and then nods, a little bit too fast because whatever he was going to say is never going to be said before he's running for the toilet. To be honest, he hasn't consumed _that_ amount of alcohol, or been _that_ drunk, in a very long time.

When Liam finally resurfaces, freshly showered and after vigorously brushing his teeth to get rid of the lingering taste of sick, Louis hands him his tea - it's made just the way he likes it. Louis offers to make breakfast and the eggs are terrible and the bacon is burnt but Louis smiles at him from across the table and as lovely as it is, he thinks it's a bit unnerving. Liam must have been quite pathetic last night if Louis is being this nice.

"Thanks for last night. I'm sorry about that - you didn't have to," Liam says when Louis leaves.

"No problem," Louis says with a grin, waving. "That's one free ticket to show up to work drunk, right?" he shouts behind his shoulder.

Liam laughs until the door closes and then he goes to have another shower and falls asleep again.

He doesn't sleep for a while, his head still hurts, his body doesn't feel right. He couldn't stop thinking about what it could be like. Louis and him. Breakfast in the mornings. Louis in his clothes. Louis in his bed. He indulges himself for the moment before sleep claims him.

~

Liam didn't know it could get this awkward with Louis again, not for a long time. After the kiss, well, it's expected.

It's going to be fine. Liam's going to go away and he's going to sort out everything until he can come back and look Louis in the eye. Simon wanted him to go back to Australia for a while to their corresponding firm. It _has_ to be fine.

Because the thing is, he very much doesn't want Louis to leave.

It was one kiss. Liam thinks they could get past it. Louis obviously doesn't. He's quieter around the office, looks tired, like he hasn't been sleeping and Zayn gives him questioning looks over his head when he brings Louis coffee. They barely talk.

They just need some time apart. They've been too tightly wound together for three years, Liam forgot what it was like before him - he just needs to remember how he coped. He's sure Louis will forget whatever it was that spurred him on in that moment. It's like one of his more complex office pranks, the ones where Liam gets the little details but can't see the big picture. Louis will forget if Liam isn't always there. Liam's been cheating this whole time, he was unprofessional, finding excuses after excuses for himself to have _this_ \- but he's going to do the right thing now. He's going to try and make it better.

He needs, more than anything else, for Louis to still be here when he comes back. Even if he won't be able to love him, even if it'll hurt more than anything else - Liam needs Louis in his life.

He traces his fingertips across his lips, remembering the shape of Louis' mouth against his. He tries his best to remember every single detail because he's come to terms with the fact: all he'll ever have is that. Maybe after all this (when he tried to come up with an explanation to tell his mum, it felt more and more like he was running away), Louis can forgive him for everything. Things will go back to normal and they might even be something resembling friends again.

Louis will still be in his life and Liam won't be so scared of losing him.

~

Liam takes a week off work to get everything worked out. It's harder this time without Louis' help but he manages to get everything packed up and ready to go. He's going to be gone for longer than a fortnight this time, a lot longer, and he doesn't want to miss anything in the hurry. It's not like he could just hop right back on a plane from Sydney. He's supposed to be catching his flight on Saturday but he pushes his flight for one more day, he goes to the hospital to see his mum one last time before he leaves.

He tells her he's her son, puts the fresh flowers in the vase and adjusts the purple scarf she's wearing. She smiles at him politely.

"Mum," Liam says, noticing the photo album split open next to her. She doesn't look up. "Karen," Liam says and she turns her gaze towards him, tilting her head. "What were you looking at?" he asks.

She smiles suddenly and she's still very beautiful. "This is my husband," she says, shows him pictures of his dad from when they were dating.

He's seen these pictures before a million times but he hasn't had a closer look in years now.

"And our darling baby," she says and shows him a picture of himself as a child. She strokes his cherub cheeks in the picture and it still makes Liam's chest ache. He smiles at her and she smiles back, flashing him more pics of the three of them as a happy family.

"He was quite sick as a baby," she says, "but he's a brave little boy."

Liam nods and it's silent for a while. When she looks up at him again, she touches the tips of her fingers against his cheek for a brief moment and says, "You're crying."

"I'm sorry," Liam says, like he always does. He wipes at his face with the back of his hand.

"I'm sure you'll be alright, young man," she says with another smile, touching his shoulder for another brief second before withdrawing again into her photo album, flipping the pages.

~

Liam doesn't know how much he gives the cab driver, stumbling on the curb in his hurry to get out. He doesn't even remember if he shut the door because he's taking the stairs two at a time to Louis' flat, his heart racing. His chest feels bruised and it hurts to finally take in a breath when he comes to an abrupt stop at his door. His body is confused, he wants to keep going, wants to keep at the momentum so he won't lose his nerve but he - he _won't_. He can be brave.

He knocks on Louis' door, blood still rushing in his ears. He distantly thinks with dismay that he may not have actually paid the cab driver when he realises he's twisting a note out of shape in his hands.

The door opens suddenly and Liam thinks Louis should really ask who's at the door before he opens it. It's dangerous. He doesn't see Liam straight away, his head turned away from him, probably still talking to Harry from inside the flat. It takes him another second to register that it's Liam standing there at his door, breathing raggedly.

"Liam?"

Liam kisses him, he ducks forward in a hurry and presses his lips against Louis, his arms around his waist. Louis makes a noise of surprise, going up on his tippy toes so Liam can straighten up against him, winding his arms around his neck and pulling him in closer, his body going easy and pliant. It should be weird, how he falls into it, like he was waiting this whole time. Louis kisses him back, still trying to murmur questions between them and so Liam only kisses him harder, letting Louis pull him into the flat.

Somehow they end up against the wall, Louis still trying to gain some kind of leverage but only ending up trying to hook his leg around Liam and get him closer. Abruptly he pulls away, pushing Liam hard enough to make him stumble. He's glaring at Liam, his mouth bitten and redenning, and he's breathing like he's run a marathon.

"You were going to leave without even saying goodbye?" he hisses, poking Liam in the chest, hard enough for it to probably leave a little Louis-finger shaped bruise in the morning. Liam rubs at it, his head still reeling, the bruise'd still be something from Louis.

"Three years, _three years_ I've been in love with - you _dick -_ not even a generic email?" Louis says.

He pushes at Liam's shoulder again before changing his mind mid-way through and pulling him in closer, gripping him hard before he kisses him again. It's supposed to be punishing, Liam can tell, their teeth clack in an altogether unpleasant way, but it still manages to send a jolt down Liam's spine.

"You broke my fucking heart," Louis says, still angry, but kisses him more softly, almost like he can't stop himself.

Liam doesn't know how to do this, to be soft and loving and careful when it mattered so much, he _needs_ to be able to do this. He pulls back, leaning against Louis, stooping so his forehead is against his temple, murmurs against his jaw, "I'm sorry. Never again, I promise."

He means it. He doesn't want to ever be the one hurting Louis. He kisses Louis very gently and tries to show him.

"Never again," he says, pulling back to see the way Louis' eyes soften. He's still pretty mad, Liam can tell, he's known him long enough to know that he's probably feeling betrayed and hurt and rightfully so. Louis' eyes flicker down to Liam's lips again and then he closes them, drawing in a deep breath as Liam distractedly kisses his cheek, his temple.

Liam was going to say something, ask him to forgive him, ask what's going to happen but he's surprised by how steady his own voice is when he says, "I love you."

Louis' smile is practically blinding, it fills Liam up from right down his belly and he grins back. He leans down to hoist him up and Louis makes a noise, kind of like delight and _yes_ , and gets his legs around Liam.

"Harry, I need the flat!" Louis shouts, his arms around Liam's neck. He's smiling down at him from this angle and the ringing in Liam's ears is only partially due to their proximity and how loud Louis can be. He hides his stupid grin into the side of Louis' neck, walking them out of the hallway.

"Oh my god, did you call Nick for a fuck? I told you that's a bad ide-" Harry stops abruptly as he pops out of the living room, his phone in his hand, rubbing at his lips. He drinks in the sight of the both of them, Liam carrying Louis away, his hand on his arse, and says, " _Oh."_

Liam makes a sound of disapproval at that, tightening his grip on Louis' arse, his whole attention focused on Louis. He walks them into the bedroom and he hears the front door slam shut with a, "Don't forget to use protection! Love you!"

They both drop onto his bed, Louis on his back with Liam on top of him. He kisses Louis again, crawling on top of him on his hands and knees, keeping his weight off him to focus on kissing him as thoroughly as possible. Louis makes an impatient noise, tugging until Liam lets his weight drop between Louis' legs. Liam pulls back enough to see the smile on Louis' face, he looks happy, and he surges forward to press a sweet kiss to Liam's cheek, like he's revelling in the knowledge he can do that now.

"You're not going anywhere," Louis says decisively, locking his legs around Liam's hips and Liam finds himself nodding helplessly.

"M'not," Liam agrees, his eyes closing on their own accord when Louis touches his cheek, soft and hushed and intimate. "Yours to keep," Liam says, turning his head to kiss his palm.

Louis makes a noise, his hip jerking up against Liam's. He kisses him again, more frantic this time, his hips falling into a rhythm. Liam gets a hand on his arse again, palming him impossibly closer and Louis makes another noise, halfway between a gasp and an impressed murmur when Liam shoves his hips against his, the thick line of his cock against his hip.

Liam doesn't know where to start. He wants to touch the skin at his ribs and at the small of his back and the insides of his thighs. He gets distracted by the feel and shape of Louis' hard cock underneath his hand. He thumbs at the head through the material of his pajama bottoms, captures Louis' slack mouth with his own again. They rut off against each other like that, with absolutely no dignity, Liam kissing every bit of Louis he can reach, sucking a love bite under his jaw and shifting his thigh firmer up against Louis as he comes, one hand flat on Louis' belly under his shirt.

Liam doesn't get off him when he comes, just slumps against him and ignores the ache of his oversensitive cock, the way the material of his sticky pants doesn't seem all that pleasant any more and murmurs into Louis' neck, "I love you" over and over again to make up for all the times he kept himself from telling him.

"That wasn't the way it was supposed to go," Liam says drowsily, gently kissing the darkening bruise under his jaw.

"How was it supposed to go?" Louis says, cheeks flushed, his eyes bright.

"I've always thought about this a million times, it's supposed to be romantic - I wanted to make love to you," Liam says, flushing like he didn't just get off rubbing off on Louis, fingertips at his belly, tweaking his nipple, back at his arse as if they couldn't make up their goddamn mind.

"It was plenty romantic," Louis says with a laugh, "we can keep at it until you're satisfied though."

"You haven't even told me you loved me," Liam says, hiding his face against his neck, sleepy and warmed.

"You're tolerable, I guess," Louis says after a beat, fingers carding through the hair growing longer now at the nape of his neck.

Liam unearths himself to look at him and Louis laughs at the look on his face, ducking down to kiss his lips into another smile.

"I love you too," he says, looking down into his eyes. He tries to poke his thumb into Liam's eyes when it gets too much, just the both of them looking at each other sappy and happy and Liam pulls back, shaking his head until he can get Louis' thumb between his lips.

"Oh, fuck," Louis says quietly when Liam sucks at it, flicking his tongue over the pad and staring up at him. Louis hurriedly tries to shimmy out of his pajama bottoms.

~

"Did you know I quit?" Louis asks, his head bent towards Liam's on the pillow they're sharing.

"No," Liam says, frowning.

"Well, I quit," Louis says. "It was only supposed to be temporary anyway."

Liam wants to ask him not to leave him but that's not what this feels like. Louis rises up on his elbow and kisses the frown line between his eyebrow, settling back onto the pillows like he's exhausted. They both are.

"It's better this way," Louis says and reaches out to smooth Liam's hair back. "You owe me a puppy."

"I just want to make you happy."

~

**Epilogue**

Jade replaces Louis and Louis fills her in on all the important details.

"He says four sugars but he _actually_ means 8, it's quite alarming actually. He's trying to act his age, apparently, but I reckon he gets cranky if he doesn't get enough sugar so just ignore him. Or not. He probably won't get cranky at you. You can still totally call me if he's being a cock."

~

"Wait, c'mere," Louis says, lifting himself off the sofa and padding along the floor barefoot.

Liam's already running late, holding a banana and his briefcase in one hand, his keys and protein shake in the other. He comes back anyway, waiting patiently with his head tilted back as Louis fixes his tie.

"You're _rubbish_ at this, especially when you're in a rush," Louis says with a tsk. His classes don't start until the afternoon, the smug twat.

Louis perfects the dimple and runs his hand down Liam's chest with a sly grin. Liam learned soon after that Louis spent his first pay check catching up on rent, the second on his family and the third on clothes he could wear to work. Harry tells him how he'd come home in a huff, watching videos on YouTube on how to perfect a tie dimple and practicing it over and over again until it was more than perfect just so he could shove it in Liam's face.

Liam loves Louis a lot.

"Thanks," Liam says dryly. "And who's fault was that?"

Louis shrugs innocently, slapping Liam's arse as he turns to go again.

"One more thing," Louis says and motions for Liam to get back here.

Liam does, skidding in a decidedly undignified manner in his socks on the floor of their flat. He comes to a stop in front of Louis. He knows what it is before he gets there though. He leans down to kiss Louis goodbye, regretting the fact his hands were too full to grope him a bit.

He leaves for work with a smile on his face.

**Author's Note:**

> [Tumblr Post](http://apayneinthearse.tumblr.com/post/65200901697/which-one-of-us-is-caving-liam-louis)


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